Vampire Diaries Hiatus Blues, Relationship Reduxes, Jeremy Hate, Katherine/Damon Love, Elena Lover Lotto, And All About Joseph Morgan, a.k.a. Klaus, Including Copious Amounts Of Pictures…oops: Casting Spoilers

The Vampire Diaries came, and The Vampire Diaries went. That’s right: another hiatus!!! There are some sadists working at the CW that need some serious help. STAT. Remember the good old days when typical network dramas had 24 episode seasons? Why does 22 seem like so few? There are only 52 weeks in each year, so why does it seem like TVD is never on?

Well, I don’t think another Avatar: The Last Airbender is going to sweep in and keep me occupied until April 7. I think I’m going to have to suffer through this one.

There’s something weird about this photo, right? It’s not that Elena is dressed like a nurse. It’s not that she looks like she fell asleep in a tanning booth. It’s not that Jeremy looks like he’s dying of TB. It’s something else…Oh, I know what it is: why is she choking him?!!

I love TVD so much that I’m willing to write entries on it even though it takes some stretching to make it on topic for this blog. As I mentioned (cumulatively) in my previous posts on the show – #1, #2, #3, and #4 – I have the terrible habit of shipping just about every brother and sister that come across my screen (against my will, mind you), but even I didn’t ship Jeremy and Elena because I found Jeremy to be…just really, really, really, really unlikable. And then he got a little better, but it wasn’t enough, and it coincided with a lengthening of his hair. And then he got a haircut and started dressing better. And suddenly he didn’t seem so bad.

Honestly, it was the haircut.

Same thing happened with Eric on True Blood:

Peter on Heroes:

Nathan on Heroes (in reverse):

…and countless others. It’s a thing with me. But even a hair cut couldn’t save Tyler on V! He’s just as intolerable as ever:

Jeremy also, for once, showed some actual concern for Elena instead of just bitching at her. And then, out of the blue, I could sort of see them together. Steven McQueen is a fine-looking young man when he’s not being an obnoxious little snot. And when he actually hugs Elena instead of slithering away from her, you can really see what a powerful (and muscular) love he truly has for her.

And then it went away. I don’t know if his hair surreptitiously grew back in, or if the writing for him simply regressed, but he’s back to being nearly insufferable. Hopefully, it’s only temporary. If not for Jeremy/Elena’s sake, then simply because he’s unlikely to die, and therefore probably not going anywhere, which means we’ll have to suffer through him whether he’s likeable or not.

So, what was the sibling progression of the five episodes that aired in January and February? Well, it didn’t seem like much, but I still found plenty to talk about.

Did I discuss the Martins before? Well, Elijah, Original vampire extraordinaire, brought two “warlocks” with him to Mystic Falls: Jonas Martin:

My name may be Jonas, and I may be a brother, but this sure as hell ain’t Camp Rock…in the words of TVD’s anonymous recapper

and Jonas’ son, Luka:

Luka was instructed (we gather) to get close to Bonnie, but it became rather clear that his affection for her was genuine, and she was definitely in to him despite the eye candy knocking on her door.

When Luka was forced to betray Bonnie (he told her he destroyed the moonstone – you remember the moonstone – but instead he took it), she got vicious fast.

She, Caroline, and Jeremy magic-drugged him, violated the sanctity of his mind by magically forcing him to answer questions, and then left him to wake up in a bathroom stall at the Grill.

Mind rape? Now it’s a *real* party!

I think the worst thing was that last part. The bathroom? Really? Gross.

Luka, under the influence of the witchy truth serum spell, revealed that he and his father were cooperating with Elijah in order to free his sister, Greta, who had been kidnapped by the reclusive king vampire Klaus to be used as a magic slave.

As you can imagine, this was the moment when I decided that the Martins were awesome!

With Luka out of the picture, Jeremy’s relationship with Bonnie finally progressed. She stopped swimming in deNile and admitted that she returned his feelings. They’ve still got great chemistry (and Lord knows that Bonnie needs some loving and I will beat myself to death with string cheese if it ever comes from Damon), but I’ve lost interest in them already.

Must keep MY Bonnie away from witch-boy and his sexy father

Well, the upgrade in Bonnie and Jeremy’s relationship came with a price: Jeremy became a dick. He was super possessive towards Bonnie around Luka even though he knew that Bonnie wasn’t interested in Luka anymore. It was very off-putting.

Luka wasn’t entirely on the up-and-up with our BonBon, but he was a nice guy. Yes, was.

He died a horrible and tragic death. At the hands of Damon. But, for once, Damon really can’t be held accountable. Not his fault. I blame the writers!!! They really did an injustice to Luka, and to papa Jonas, who is now dead as well. These were interesting characters with an extremely sympathetic storyline and a lot of undeveloped potential. And they’re dead. Wasted. Poor Greta! I hope now that she dies too, so that she doesn’t have to live without them. I was totally robbed of their reunion scene, and all of the shipping of Luka and Greta that I could have been doing. Of course, we haven’t seen Greta yet. She could be 30. But I don’t think so.

Upon learning about Greta, Bonnie relaxed towards the Martins. She tried to get them on the Salvatores’ side, but Jonas continued to believe that Elijah was their best bet. Maybe he cared about Elijah? I’d like to see some real loyalty there. I would like that. Anyway, I don’t blame him. Someone should have told him and Damon, Stefan, and Elena are the lead characters on the show. Then he could have reevaluated his chances.

Anyway, Bonnie was expressing some regret and disbelief at Luka’s untimely passing, and Jeremy was quite the little douche about it. Zero sympathy from him. He essentially said: “He deserved it.” Ass. It’s going to be a while before I forgive him for behaving like that.

I’ll spare you more ranting about the deaths of the Martins. Needless to say, I was/am incensed. It sparked quite the discussion at TWOP, but it devolved into a debate about racism in American television. How can something be so heated and so boring at the same time? There needs to be a dialogue about racism in casting. Definitely. But does anybody honestly believe that Jonas and Luka were killed off because they were black? Or that black actors were hired in order to be killed off? Oh no, I’m getting started. I’ll stop myself.

So, long story short (too late!), Jeremy’s douchebaggery has been elevated in the second half of the season. Unlike with Damon, I am tired of the Jeremy Gilbert roller coaster.

With Luka out of the way, and Bonnie’s reservations about…what were they about? I don’t know. Anyway, with Bonnie’s reservations gone, there was only one thing left to be resolved: Elena.

Bonnie tells Jeremy that they have to halt until she gets a chance to talk to Elena about it.

Jeremy is outraged. Indignant. Well, he’s annoyed, anyway.

And on one hand, I totally get it. Jeremy’s thinking: “I’m smoking hot. Like really, really good looking. I dealt with that skinny, unshaven warlock. I waited while she tried to figure out what she wanted even though I’m clearly the best thing that’s ever come her way. And now she’s putting up another obstacle? I’m a teenage boy…I have needs.”

But on the other hand: what the hell, Jeremy? Elena is her best friend. You’re Elena’s brother. Of course Bonnie needs to check with Elena first. I can understand why you might not quite get it – you don’t have any friends because you’re an emo dilettante – but try thinking about more than just yourself and the girl that you’re into.

What he says is: “I didn’t realize my sister had approval over who(m, sic?) I’m with.” Interesting, eh?

He doesn’t say, “Why would Elena have a problem with us being together?”, which would have been neutral. His question, on the other hand, implies two things: 1) that if Elena were to have a problem, it would be with Bonnie dating Jeremy, and not the other way around, and 2) he is uncertain of what Elena will say. If he was confident that Elena would give her approval, then his attitude would not have been so contemptuous. So, maybe Jeremy doesn’t want Bonnie to ask Elena because he knows that Elena will say no?

Elena would have good reason to say no, given how much danger Bonnie is frequently in, and how much danger Jeremy has already gotten himself into because of her, not to mention his supernatural exes.

But maybe Elena would have another reason? Like: “Stay away from my hot brother, witch; he’s (one of) my fallback(s). Remember, biologically, we’re only cousins! First cousins can legally marry in Virginia, but if we feel awkward we can always just hop over to West Virginia where it’s the norm.”

Sorry, West V. Affectionate joke. I have family (not inbred) in your borders and they are all geniuses (to my chagrin…no, Great Grandmother, I’m not the one who went to Harvard.) so I’m in no position to insult you.

I just feel like Jeremy’s frustration was a little strong to simply be the result of the situation he and Bonnie are in. His frustration had more of a last-straw sort of ring to it, like Elena’s interference in his life was getting to be too much.

Bonnie responds: “She’s my best friend; I tell her everything. This whole ‘hang-thing’ might freak her out.”

Elena: “Wait…he can do what?”

I think it’s a little weird that Bonnie says, “I tell her everything”, because not only is it not true (Bonnie’s got more secrets than just about anybody), but it isn’t really relevant to the discussion, and it’s even a little more awkward given the context. I think the sacrifice you make by dating your friend’s sibling is that you don’t get to tell them everything anymore. Because…yeah, gross. Or titillating, as may be the case. I can see Elena being particularly squeamish as Bonnie gives some juicy details of her sex life with Jeremy.

We know Jer had sex with Vicki, who was even older than Bonnie, and someone, we can imagine, who has been around the block. Anna’s age remains a mystery, but if she was Pearl’s biological daughter (which their shared race probably indicates), then she’s got a good 400 years + on Vikki, though I don’t think Anna and Jeremy ever got it on.

Both Bonnie and Jeremy know that Elena will probably be a little freaked out…interesting. Or maybe not. At least a handful of people on the TWOP boards thought it was gross that Bonnie would date her friend’s younger brother. I think they need to loosen up. Caroline certainly didn’t seem to think it was a big deal.

Course, Care bear is an only child. There are a lot of only children in Mystic Falls. A lot. Even Jeremy and Elena are only children, biologically.

Jeremy concedes to Bonnie’s argument, but I think he just didn’t want to push her because he didn’t want her to leave, I don’t think he was really convinced that Elena should have any say.

Well, it isn’t until the next episode that Bonnie gets the chance to talk to Elena. Well, Bonnie sort of snatches the chance awkwardly. I guess she was in a carpe diem sort of mood.

Elena had just come from catching Caroline and Matt making out in the bathroom at the Grill (seriously, the bathroom, again!!! Gross!!!), and was walking away with a smile on her face. Sorry, Matt: I guess she never loved you. And Bonnie just sort of blurted out: “Would it freak you out if I start dating your brother?”

Elena’s smile quickly fades, and she stops and spins around. Watch the progression:

Granted: 1) this took Elena totally by surprise (you could knock her over with a feather); she clearly didn’t have a clue that they might even be slightly interested in each other because Elena is self-centered and blind in that way, and 2) your best friend dating your brother takes some getting used to no matter the circumstances of how you find out.

But Elena totally freaks!

I know when I’m making something out of nothing, and I’m definitely doing that here, but Elena’s reaction did not strike me as natural. One of my friends dating my brother would be incomprehensible to me because they don’t know him, have nothing in common with him, and he’s several years younger, and I still would not have been as taken-aback as Elena was here. In fact, I probably wouldn’t even be writing this post if Elena hadn’t responded so strangely.

Of course, she ultimately encourages them, but it takes her a while to get there. I know that part of her hesitation was to keep us, the audience, in suspense, but we didn’t need that much hesitation.

Elena says, “You’re with Jeremy?” No, Elena, it’s your other brother. Hmmm…That gives me some ideas. Too bad her parents are already too young to have even sired her.

Elena definitely has this look on her face like she can’t believe Bonnie’s audacity at first. It’s very Katherine, actually.

Poor Bonnie is floundering under the intensity of Elena’s gaze. She beings to babble: “He’s been so good, and so strong. He makes me happy.” Well, if I was Jeremy, I think I would be disappointed – genuine emotions, but hardly intense.

Elena is literally speechless. Her mouth hangs up and she shakes her head a few times, taking deep breaths. She’s still gathering her wits.

“Uh…should I be running away?”

It gets so bad that Bonnie has to say, terrifed, “I really can’t tell what you’re thinking right now.” Yeah, us neither, Bonnie, but that’s the way I like it here.

We cut back to Elena. She’s still shaking her head. Then she gives a mirthless laugh (you know the kind, like things are so horrible that it’s almost funny)

and her face gets serious again

and she puts her hand to her forehead (another gesture of desperation)

and says “I’m thinking…” and it’s drawn out, and we’re all in suspense except we’re actually not because we know Elena too well.

She goes on about how Jeremy has suffered so much

and then the mood shifts, and she says, “He deserves to be with someone as amazing as you.”

Sorry, Elena, but suffering ≠ goodness.

I would have said, “And you deserve not to be with a toad.” I don’t even know what I mean by “toad”, it’s just the descriptor that came to mind. Or I would have said, “And Jeremy deserves to be with someone who hasn’t spent nine episodes giving him the run around.” You gotta admit, Bonnie may like kissing Jeremy, but she has been less than enthusiastic about him in general. Maybe Jeremy should find a girl who doesn’t need to be convinced to be with him.

Once again, I was in the minority in the fandom when I couldn’t have cared less that Anna died. I vacillated where she was concerned. I liked the awkward, shy girl we met at first, but then she got arrogant and I didn’t like her.

I loved the loving daughter side of her, and particularly when she ultimately chose her mother over Jeremy, but I didn’t like her attitude towards Damon or John (the latter understandable, certainly), and she just wasn’t going to be a character I would miss. But she loved Jeremy against the current, and she deserves to be remembered for that.

Elena seems surprised at herself as she’s saying this, like she doesn’t even know what she’s saying.

It seems to me that she just knew she couldn’t say no to them, but that she probably wanted to. I think she had to think up something to say. And she does smile, but think about the words: it’s not like she said, “You guys are going to be so happy together,” or, “I’m so happy for you guys,” or anything like that. I mean, I’ve watched this scene three or four times, and every time I’m shocked at how freaked out Elena truly is.

Bonnie asks: “Really?” Like she’s still very unsure.

Elena takes another second to think about it, biting her lip, looking like she’s disgusted. Perhaps a momentary flash of her true feelings before she puts on her acting face. Then she nods and smiles and says, “really”, and they hug.

Elena is totally relieved when her phone rings, though, and pulls out of that hug as fast she can.

Or maybe she’s just anxious to answer it because she and Stefan haven’t talked for almost two whole hours!

I may have done several 180s on Jeremy, but I still choose to “believe” (= want to believe for the purpose of fun) that Elena doesn’t want Jeremy with Bonnie because she wants to save him for herself. Elena was remarkably uninvolved in Jeremy’s two earlier relationships – Vicki and Anna – both of whom tried to kill her! (Maybe there’s something in that.) We didn’t even get a chance for Elena to show her disapproval, although, no doubt, she had some.

Maybe we’ll get a scene of Elena looking slightly disconcerted as she sees Jeremy and Bonnie being affectionate with one another.

What else?

Well, remember how I found something strangely incestuous about Elena and Jeremy’s shared bathroom? Well, any place where a witch is killed takes on special magical properties, and Katherine and Stefan tag-team slew Jonas Martin in said bathroom. So, you got that right, Jeremy and Elena’s bathroom is now a magical hot spot. Like they need to tell us that!

Katherine and Jeremy were briefly in the same room, but it was all business, so nothing kinky there. Jeremy didn’t even know it was Katherine. He’s got to feel weird about her after what they…shared. I really want to see her…intimidate him again.

I feel like Damon and Stefan’s relationship really isn’t getting the treatment it deserves. They don’t have enough scenes together, especially scenes that aren’t all about Elena or about planning. The last good stuff was in Masquerade, I think. Now that they’re getting along and working together, it’s just not as fun anymore.

I like it when they’re fighting about more than just Elena. And now they’re not even fighting about Elena because Damon took a step back for Stefan’s sake. Which was really sweet. Really an awwww moment. But I miss the distrust. I miss how Damon had set out to make Stefan’s life miserable and was killing left and right, and they went out and played football anyway.

On the other hand, this is kind of how I imagined their past being. Damon would show up in Stefan’s life, cause a bunch of trouble, and then forget that he was supposed to hate Stefan and they’d get along for a while, and then something would happen that would send Damon flying away only for the pattern to repeat. I love how their past demonstrates the resilience of their relationship. But that resilience isn’t being tested anymore, which makes me sad. We’re mid second season. It’s just going too quickly!

So, there really haven’t been any meaty scenes between the two. I didn’t intend for that to sound sexual, it really just came out phrased like that. As I tried to explain before, I see them as heterosexual (un)life partners. At least, that’s what I want for them. I’m talking about a relationship that goes beyond the typical bond between brothers, but it’s still a brotherly relationship. I just want them to love each other more than they love anyone else. That’s the simplest way to put it. We’ll never know if that’s true, because the only litmus test is faulty: if Stefan had to choose between saving Elena’s life and saving Damon’s life, I think he would choose to save Elena, not (necessarily) because he loves Elena more, but because that’s the right thing to do, and moreover what Damon would want.

Anyway, what I was saying is that the scenes between them and about their relationship have been few and far between lately. Stefan came off as rather unfeeling towards Damon as he struggled with Rose’s death, and imperceptive to boot. And when he was dubious about what Damon was claiming, he never pushed further. Damon is “metaphorically” “lost”, and Stefan just doesn’t seem to be noticing.

They have had a couple of great moments, though. In 2.13, Daddy Issues, the two of them are facing off against a pack of werewolves, fatally outnumbered. The werewolves demand to know who killed Mason. Damon immediately fesses up, and arrogantly too. He’s drawing the attention and anger towards him for Stefan’s sake. That was a sweet little moment.

In 2.15 The Dinner Party, we got a lot more. This episode featured some flashbacks. In general I’m not crazy about flashback episodes, but in the case of vampire shows, I love them.

The Dinner Party was a major flashback failure, though. The flashbacks only told us what we’d already expected, but to a slightly lessened degree. Essentially, we were supposed to learn about Stefan’s dark days. Well, they were just that – days. A couple of weeks at most before a retconned Lexi showed up with platitudes about love and “saved” him.

Way to walk the edge, Show. Stefan called himself a monster, and told Elena that he was “worse” than Damon, but those really felt like words. So Stefan had a couple of bad weeks. Big. F—king. Deal. I wanted some really, really bad history for this guy. Way to make Stefan less interesting than he already was, writers. At least before I could imagine.

The worst part was that Damon and Stefan parted ways almost immediately. In 1.20 Blood Brothers, Stefan forces Damon to turn, and then Damon promises Stefan an eternity of misery. Well, when this episode picks up, they’ve been squatting for a couple of weeks in their old house (somehow nobody noticed), and Stefan has been massacring the founding families and snacking on pretty girls (and he’s been playing with his food).

A disapproving Damon comes on scene, and compels the girls to leave even though Stefan was nice enough to bring enough to share.

(Stefan: “Damon, don’t be like this!”, Me: “Ha!”)

It was highly reminiscent of Damon and the tri delts from 1.15 A Few Good Men. I’m disappointed we didn’t get a scene of Damon and Stefan in a sexualized, orgiastic feeding frenzy of shared girls, like in Interview With A Vampire

or the flashbacks of Bill and Lorena from True Blood

Maybe we’ll get one in the future (and by the future, I mean the past) – cross your fingers.

Stefan says that he’s just having some fun, but apparently Damon thinks that staying alive is more fun. What. A. Buzzkill.

Seriously. Damon shuts down what could have been one of my favorite scenes ever. I hope he gets teased some day about his shameful past as an aguafiestas.

We can infer from the dialogue in this scene that Damon has been trying to get Stefan to pull it together, and Stefan has made some promises that he hasn’t kept. Damon thinks that Stefan is engaging in self-destructive behavior, and that they need to be careful and clever “like Katherine” or else they’ll get caught. (Maybe the reason Stefan turned good was that he just wasn’t smart enough to be bad!) Stefan then says: “look where that got her” with a douche-y laugh. I really don’t think that should have been included. Stefan, in the present day, has told us that he was extremely enamored of Katherine, and earlier in this very episode told Elena that he was killing off the founding families because he was angry about what they had done to Katherine.

What’s wrong with the girl playing piano, Damon? What? Wasn’t she good enough to save?

Although I find the line out of place, and not in character for even “bad” Stefan, the line perhaps serves a usefulness in that it precipitates Damon saying: “I’m done here. With you.” (Which is all the more reason for me to hate it.) Damon has finally had enough, and he’s leaving. What. A. Buzzkill!

Stefan is heartbroken:

This was one of the best moments, in my opinion: Damon begins walking out of the room, and Stefan supervampspeeds over to him to stop him. He says, “You hate me. I know – an eternity of misery and on and on, I know. But you don’t have to leave town, Damon. I’ll do better. I promise.”

Awwww. My heart swells. Stefan sort of sounds like he’s making light of Damon’s vengeful promises (although considering the fact that he just made light of Katherine’s death that’s not much to remark upon), but he makes up for it by implying that for him, a life of misery is a life without Damon.

Well, the hard-hearted Damon frostily replies, “No.” Then he adds: “You’ll get us killed.” Blow softened. Then he adds: “I’d rather leave you to do that to yourself.” Damon bandaged the ouchie and then drove a knife through it.

Stefan’s desperation becomes terrified sadness.

Damon begins walking out of the room, and Stefan helplessly grabs at his arms, but he’s too broken, too devastated to make a 100% effort.

Stefan explains to Elena that he had to “turn it off”. It was the only way that he could survive.

So Stefan makes his bad days even less bad than they already were by saying that he was just trying to turn off his feelings. It does sort of make sense: he lost Katherine, his father, and his brother all within a very short space of time.

Anyway, that scene just rang of lovers, right? Stefan also came across very much like a little boy – but in a fun way, not in a journey-of-maturity-ahead-of-him boring way.

Unfortunately, Damon disappears for most of the rest of the flashbacks. Stefan wanders out and meets Lexi. I’m one of the few in the fandom who is glad that she’s dead. It’s not that I didn’t like her as a person, I just didn’t like her as a presence in Stefan’s life. (And I definitely didn’t like the way she treated Damon.)

I find myself resentful of her again here because we learn that she entered Stefan’s life very early on. I don’t want anyone coming close to rivaling Damon and Stefan’s connection, part of which is a result of the decades they’ve spent together (be it on or off, so to speak).

On the other hand, if Stefan and Lexi had been friends for 150 years, then Stefan essentially shaking off Damon killing her is all the more indicative of the resiliency of their relationship. Even when Stefan reminded Damon about it in this episode, there was no rancor. It was more of a “hey, it sucked that one time you killed my best and only friend.”

Anyway, it seems that Lexi liked to visit Stefan on his birthday, and she definitely crossed paths with Damon while being with Stefan in the past, but I don’t get the sense that Lexi was Stefan’s companion throughout the ages.

Lexi and Damon share one flashback together at the end. She says that he must be the brother who hates Stefan. I like that she says this, because it makes me imagine Stefan sitting dejectedly by the window, watching the rain, and pouring out to Lexi all of his fears about Damon leaving him and whining. Damon replies, “We are at irreparable odds.” That’s not accurate, it implies something mutual. You know, like irreconcilable differences. Damon and Stefan are getting a divorce!

Damon says, “You must be the vampire I hear my brother complaining about.”

This is awkward. Lexi has been living at the house. If Stefan has been complaining to Damon about Lexi (the word choice indicates an action that occurred more than once), then why hasn’t Damon crossed paths with her, or sought her out? Also, it seems like  Stefan and Damon had at least two conversations since Damon said that he was leaving. Interesting.

Lexi, even though she just met Damon, has the arrogance to give him a prescription. She says the hate he’s feeling will overwhelm him, that he doesn’t have it under control. Stefan must have said A LOT about Damon in order for Lexi to consider herself Damon’s shrink without ever having seen him. On the positive side, she looks absolutely fabulous, doesn’t she? That is a flattering hairstyle for Arielle Kebbel.

Damon asks Lexi to help Stefan – “he needs it” (with the sweetest look on his face, almost like he’s about to cry!), and then leaves. I don’t like that Damon didn’t try harder to help Stefan himself, but at least he showed in a concrete manner that despite his resentment over sharing Katherine and being forced to turn, he still loves Stefan. And if Stefan was being all willy-nilly kill-them-all, then it is understandable that Damon would try to get away to save himself. After all, he’s got an appointment with destiny: saving Katherine.

Obviously, at some point, Damon undergoes some major changes. I can’t wait for that episode.

In the present day, in this episode, Stefan learns that Damon is about to get himself killed, and he panics. It’s nothing more than one would expect, but it’s still sweet.

Well, this is a little off-topic, but I’ve done another about-face (besides with Jeremy).

In the first season, we learned that Katherine carried on with both Stefan and Damon back in their human days. They didn’t like it, but she compelled them to accept it. She made daylight rings for them both, turned them both, and then, supposedly died. In the first couple of episodes we hear Damon refer to Katherine frequently as Stefan’s ex (albeit in discussion with Elena), and we learn that she chose to take Stefan to the Founder’s Ball. But other than that, we had no real reason to believe she had a preference for either brother. The fact that she escaped from death and never told either of them seemed to be an indication that her lack of preference was actually a general indifference.

In 2.01 The Return, Katherine turned our understanding on its head by claiming that she never loved Damon, but truly loved Stefan.

We’re a little taken-aback, as is Damon (hence the whole Jeremy neck-snapping incident), but Katherine is a lying liar who lies and she loves to play games, so we don’t have to believe her.

But then, bam, 2.04 Memory Lane strolls on by. Katherine gives a highly unreliable narrative of her pure love for pure Stefan where Damon has a cameo as someone she compels in order to get rid of him so she can write in her diary about her pitiful little smackeroo with Stefan.

We don’t have to believe that either – re: lying liar who lies. But then we get a flashback while Katherine is alone in which she kisses Stefan’s dead body, promising they’ll be together again, while COMPLETELY ignoring poor Damon’s corpse.

F—K!

There is actually a continuity error here which would take paragraphs to explain, but what it comes down to is that Damon, according to what he tells Stefan in a flashback in 1.20 Blood Brothers, had already reanimated as a vampire before Katherine would ever have had the opportunity to visit his still dead body. Take my word for it: it’s a mistake. Or, since Katherine ignores Damon’s body so completely in her flashback that we never even see his face, the body isn’t even him, and Katherine didn’t ignore him because he wasn’t even there! I spent some time clinging to that delusional thread, but I think I’ve let go.

Of course, another possibility is that Katherine conned herself into believing that she loved only Stefan. But why would she do that? Plus, she’s too much to sharp for delusions. Although one of her character traits, is, I believe, seriously downplaying her emotions, which she does have.

Why do I care?

Well, my love for Damon simply cannot tolerate this effrontery. How dare she love Stefan and not him? HOW DARE SHE?!!!!!

It was OK when she loved them both. But this? No. No no no.

And after all that he went through for her! He was suicidal when he thought she was dead. He spent 150 years trying to get her out of the tomb, not to mention the foresight he had in arranging with Emily Bennett for her to be saved in the tomb. His diabolical plans – all for her! And she has the audacity not only to never have loved him, but to love that dishrag Stefan instead!

Well, instead of hating Katherine after Memory Lane (I can’t hate her…she’s just too badass), I was infected with a mania of proving that Katherine really did love Damon. (Many believe she never loved Stefan either, that she can’t love, but I’d prefer that she loved them both.) This mania led me to be rather invested in their relationship in general.

I came to appreciate the tenderness in their flashbacks, the hostile sexual chemistry in their present day interactions, etc. By the time Masquerade (still my favorite episode) rolled around, Damon had apparently turned his back on Katherine. He tried to kill her. And yet, when he really had the chance, he didn’t do it. I would murder people to see the scene where Damon and Stefan decide to stick Katherine in the tomb instead of staking her. Whatever Damon’s motivation, it seemed pretty clear that I now had to prove that Damon still loved Katherine as well. Exhausting.

However, I still wanted a Stefan/Katherine hook-up (with Stefan/Caroline endgame) and Damon/Elena endgame. And it felt soooooooo good to be riding the most popular ship.

I should have known it wouldn’t last.

After 2.16, The House Guest, Katherine and Damon are officially my OTP for the show (after the non-OTP OTP of Damon and Stefan). Their scenes in this episode nearly combusted my TV.

All of the security of shipping Delena (Damon/Elena) is gone. Now I’m stuck with a doomed ship which may even be sinking beneath my feet. Katherine could die at any moment. Damon and Elena are clearly headed somewhere and the writers aren’t about to forsake the majority of their audience. It’s all just very, very bad. I still want something to happen between Damon and Elena, and I definitely want Elena to fall completely for Damon (re: the original issue with Katherine), but she just seems like such a high school girl to me now.

The worst part of it is that most Damon/Katherine shippers (referred to sometimes as Datherine…let’s hope that doesn’t catch) are Stelena (Stefan/Elena) shippers. And if I haven’t made it clear, I pretty much loathe Stelena at this point. They are saccharine, and boring. One note. B.O.R.I.N.G. That whole my enemy’s enemy thing just doesn’t apply for me here.

Now I am in the awkward position of wanting Damon/Katherine and Stefan/Caroline. What percent of this show’s audience fit into that grouping? 1-2% maybe? It sucks. But that’s what happened to me.

So, then, what about Elena? You know, the star? Well, Matt’s off the list. I mentioned that he had been my runner-up to Damon, but that is no more. Poor Matt has been through a lot of crap in his sorry little life – he never knew his father, his slutty mother is never around, his slutty, druggie older sister was turned into a vampire and murdered, the girlfriend he loved (also one of his best friends) dumped him (essentially) for the dark, handsome stranger, his seeming only other friend tried to rape his sister (sort-of) and treated her like sh-t on several other occasions, his new girlfriend was a pesky neurotic who also became a vampire, almost killed him, and broke up with him to save his life, his life was threatened by Isobel, then by Katherine (to Caroline), and then he was compelled to fight his best friend to the death, a night which also saw the death of another love interest, and then his only friend left town, and then his throat was slit with a broken bottle by Jonas Martin. Oh, and he’s a bus boy. So, yeah, life sucks something fierce for poor Matt Donovan. (Although, remember, suffering ≠ goodness.)

With all that happened to him, you’d think he’d be interesting. But he’s not. He’s good looking, occasionally sweet, but not interesting. He’s a waste of precious screen time. Bad things happening to you is not a redeeming characteristic. He used to be a nice guy, but now he’s just kind of annoying. He really only appealed to me at first because I felt for his unrequited love.

And I’m so tired of the sweet girl who feels an instant connection with the new guy and leaves behind her devoted jock ex trope. Anybody watch The Gates? Same thing happened with Brett (the wolf boy), Andie (the suck-ubus), and Charlie (the human void). I wanted Matt to break that trope. But he just doesn’t appeal that way any more. He was cute with Caroline, but she’s moved on to bigger and better storylines and love interests.

So, long story short (too late!), strike Matt off of the to-be-with-Elena list. Damon, as I already mentioned, has been stricken in the long-term sense. (Sorry, Elena: you’re just no Katherine. Damon is too much man for you.) Who does that leave?

Alaric? No thank you.

Tyler? Hmmm…

They did share that curiously intimate hug in Crying Wolf before he decided to leave town. I just watched it in slow motion, and there was some highly suspicious mutual squeezing action. Even Stefan seem bothered. >>>

I could see the potential chemistry. I think I like it.

Who else? Jeremy…The jury is still out on that one.

Elijah? Yes, please. Please. Please.

“Those are-I mean, that is a lovely vervain necklace you’ve got there.”

But the writers sure haven’t given us much to work with. But there have been some gems. Their scenes together so far have been highly charged, and even though we know that Elijah’s desire to protect Elena (and his desire to heal her after she stabbed herself) have nothing to do with her as a person, it’s tempting to look at them another way.

“Wow, those jeans are tight”

Elena, didn’t you learn your lesson when Jeremy read your entire diary? Now Elijah wants to know its juicy secrets.

Of course, Elijah generates sexual chemistry with everybody. EVERYBODY. Daniel Gillies should become a porn star. Don’t tell him I said that, even though it’s complimentary.

Who else remains? Ah, yes, John Gilbert. Yes, I know. He’s her father. And just because they’ve got tension doesn’t mean it’s sexual tension. I know.

But they’d be kind of hot together. Yeah, I’m going there. This time. With them. That’s a bad sign.

I think the problem here is how sexy I find John. Plus it’s hard to see him as her father when David Anders is less than a decade or so older than Nina Dobrev.

Well, I literally cannot think of another male. Bonnie, Caroline, and Matt all have fathers we have not met…but now I’m really stretching. One’s gay…possibly all (remember the lack of siblings)we don’t really know. That’s it. So many dead men…Lexi’s widower is still out there, and he seemed highly amenable to Elena’s requests. Hmm…

<<< He’s not exactly an attractive man, is he?

Truthfully, there is one other.

Who, you ask?

Klaus, I say.

We haven’t met him. I haven’t read the books, but there’s always the chance that TV Klaus and book Klaus will have little more than their name in common, so I don’t feel at a disadvantage when I say that I have no idea what to expect.

What do we know about Klaus? According to Elijah, he is the most hated and most feared of all the vampires. He’s the oldest, reclusive, thought to be legend because so few had ever actually seen him. We know Katherine was “taken with him”. We know he kidnaps and enslaves witches. We know he wants to break the curse. We know he’ll be weak after the curse is broken. We know he lived in England for a period. We know that he seriously underestimated Katherine. We know that Elijah wants to kill him.

That’s not much to go on, is it? And it’s all bad.

I still think there’s potential for explosive hotness.

That’s what I thought before I saw pictures of the actor (Joseph Morgan) cast as Klaus. Now I know there is potential for explosive hotness.

In our society, and probably in most, the youth are subservient to their elders. It’s very unusual to see someone young in charge. So, without thinking, I naturally pictured Klaus as being older than (or roughly the same age as) Elijah. Daniel Gillies was born two days ago in 1976, making him…math…math…math…35.

Well, you can imagine my surprise when I saw this picture of Joseph Morgan:

…Um, I think I’m weak in the knees. Not metaphorically, either.

Definitely younger than Daniel Gillies. But, of course, they’re vampires. Well, I got very excited very quickly. I like this Joseph Morgan fellow. I like him very much. Granted, this picture wasn’t taken yesterday, but he has kind of a boyish face, doesn’t he? I really like the idea of Klaus being/looking like he is in his early 20’s.

I shouldn’t have been so surprised, because we’ve seen vampires who look young being the dominant one in the relationship – such as Armand in the Anne Rice books, or my beloved Godric on True Blood (who was supposed to be even younger than he looked).

As for Joseph Morgan’s age…sorry, don’t know it. His IMDB page says he was born “around 1980” in Swansea, Wales. Don’t they have birth registry in Wales? It’s not like it’s Haiti. I mean, that was the 20th century, wasn’t it? They don’t even have the year? I feel like I’m looking at a plaque for an artifact in a museum.

So, if Joseph Morgan was born circa 1980, that would make him around 30. Whether or not he is younger than that, I’d say he looks younger. I wonder if he’ll try to pass for a high schooler. Paul Wesley does it. Well, he tries.

They couldn’t have hired an American, so that comes as no surprise. I wonder what type of accent he’ll use. Daniel Gillies was born in Winnipeg and raised in New Zealand, but when he says “Katerina” there is a definite continental Europe accent to it. So, what will Klaus talk like?

I’m also pleased that they hired a relative unknown.

Well, I lied when I promised “all about Joseph Morgan” because I don’t intend on elaborating his biography any further. What else I know is of little interest.

We could talk about his filmograhy though. He was in Hex, a British series about fallen angels.

A few years ago I watched a few episodes. I couldn’t finish it: it made me nauseous. It wasn’t just a show with evil in it…it was evil. I’m serious: nausea. I love all things angels, so it was very much in my interest to keep watching the show, but I literally could not watch another episode…that show made me feel darkness.

JM was also in Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World, Alexander, and the made-for-TV Mansfield Park from a few years ago – all of which I have seen, but he’s not really ringing a bell. Since he played Fanny’s brother in Mansfield Park, it’s particularly discouraging that he didn’t make more of an impression.

Of, perhaps, more interest: he played the lead in Ben-Hur of 2010, a made-for-TV movie.

It’s impressive that he got the lead. I know I mentioned at least once that I love Ben-Hur.

He dashes into a leprosy camp and extracts his sister Tirzah. It’s incredibly moving.

Guess who plays Tirzah in this version?

Kristin Kreuk, a.k.a. Lana Lang of Smallville. An incomparable beauty, isn’t she? I’m not sure she looks like she could be Joseph Martin’s sister, but that’s a nitpick, I suppose.

In short, I can’t wait to see this movie and why isn’t it on Netflix?

What all this comes down to is that, yes, let’s add Klaus to our list of potential matches for Elena. Well, if there is no one else to consider, then I think my new preferences for Elena are: Elijah, (maybe Klaus), Jeremy, Tyler, and John. See, Elena won’t be left out in the cold. Just because I don’t want her with a Salvatore doesn’t mean I don’t want her around.

What about you? If you had to pick a guy for Elena to be with, but it couldn’t be Damon or Stefan, who would you pick? Weigh in.

What else is there to say? Well, have you checked out The Hillywood Show parody of TVD? They made fun of Katherine sexily eating fruit, which I did as well, so I feel inclined to mention them here. (Showrunner Julie Plec said that was her favorite part – mine too, Julie. The straw was second.) Also, I imagine whoever wrote the parody has no doubt seen a few episodes of TVD, possibly even all of them, but I doubt they’re an intense fan like I am, so it’s interesting to note that there is a very definite Katherine/Damon leaning in the video. It’s a funny parody, though probably not something I’d watch a second time. I’m not a fan of sung/musical comedy. Whenever a stand up comedian pulls out a guitar I change the channel. The song is catchy, though. I was definitely singing it later.

Also, if you like a little more TVD with your regular helping, I’d recommend recaps. I prefer mine funny, and there are three pretty good recaps out there each week: Price at TV.com, Recappers Anonymous right here on WordPress, and the most hilarious thing out there is Thomas Galvin’s recaps – they’re short and not to be taken as a serious summary of the events of the show (far too tongue-in-cheek and meta for that), but I promise you that you will laugh out loud. Seriously, if you don’t read Thomas Galvin’s TVD recaps, then there is something missing from your life.

Happy hiatus, fellow fans.

I cannot wait for Klaus!!!!! At first I thought that they would be wiser to save him for later, but now I just can’t wait. Who knows, maybe he’ll just show up for five seconds in the season finale anyway.

This entry was posted in TV Shows, TV Shows That Should Have Incest, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Vampire Diaries Hiatus Blues, Relationship Reduxes, Jeremy Hate, Katherine/Damon Love, Elena Lover Lotto, And All About Joseph Morgan, a.k.a. Klaus, Including Copious Amounts Of Pictures…oops: Casting Spoilers

  1. Pingback: FunOdd.com

  2. Dorothy Cox says:

    Just stumbled upon your VD posts. I. Love. You.

    • Shipcestuous says:

      So glad you liked them. I’m a huge Vamire Diaries fan, so I tend to get extremely opinionated in those posts,, which I imagine probably alienates people who don’t share my views. It’s really gratifying to hear from someone who liked them. Thanks for taking the time to comment.

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