One of my lovely tumblr anonymice recently asked me, “Why do you think people ship incest?” And I thought a big question deserved a big answer, so I spent some time pondering the subject, reviewing my discussions with other shippers, and muckraking in the frightening depths of my twisted (imaginative?) mind, and I’ve come up with 26 whys and wherefores.
Notes:
– First let me say I think incest shipping appeals to different people for different reasons. That might be obvious but I think it’s worth saying. It’s not a one-reason-per-person or all-reasons-for-every-person deal. (Or one reason per ship or all reasons-for-all-ships either.) And I’m not out to oversimplify anything – I think shipping and why and what we ship is a psychologically complex process. It’s hardly fair to reduce it to a three sentence explanation.
-Not every reason that has to do with family situations is going to be true for every family. Obviously circumstances vary wildly.
-This list was made with brother/sister incest shipping in mind, but most of the reasons will be applicable towards other kinds of incest ships. If by any chance you want to quote something, feel free to change the words “brother”, or “sister”, or “siblings”, etc., in order to make it relevant to your subject if need be.
-I hope it goes without saying that this is a discussion about consensual incest.
-These are in no particular order.
22 Reasons
1) The appeal of forbidden love isn’t going to surprise anyone. It’s titillating. It’s more drama. And incest is the forbiddenest of forbidden. It has been called the last taboo, and while I think an imaginative few of us can come up with some remaining taboos, the point remains: incest continues to not be accepted, it is forbidden and taboo. That’s exciting. On top of that, incest isn’t just against the rules (/social conventions) – it’s considered to be “wrong”, to be a dark and twisted thing. Again, that’s exciting. (For some people.) But unlike a lot of the other dark and twisted types of relationships, it has the potential to not be something that’s ugly.
2) There’s another element of excitement in incest shipping, and that’s the issue of offspring and the potential birth defects that might result from incestuous procreation. It’s sort of a strange idea, but the “danger” of some sort of troubling consequence just adds to the thrill for some. (Of course the likelihood of birth defects from incest is much lower than what most people think and generally only a factor in multiple generations of inbreeding, but that’s a discussion for another time.) Without incest, this kind of danger you can only find when science fiction or fantasy elements are introduced.
3, 4) The joy of the ship is in watching (/imagining) the pairing overcoming the obstacles that keep them apart. You see them, you want them together, but you crave the journey. The harder the road, the more rewarding the destination. Incest is an arduous road. (There are like steep hills and bandits and shit. It’s rough.) So another appeal of incest shipping is that it’s a mountain of an obstacle keeping the two parties from realizing/consummating their love, and perhaps even more so from their happily ever after. Incest gives us a really long journey, because there are so many reasons for them to resist their feelings. It’s a better love story if it has challenges, and there’s no challenge quite like incest.
And incest provides two different kinds of obstacles: an internal obstacle and an external obstacle.
Internal obstacles are not always easy to come by. When one person wants another person, there’s not usually a lot to hold them back in their minds. There are a few tropes but few are as effective as incest. Perhaps they still feel an aversion to incest, and they have to grapple with that. Perhaps it remains so unthinkable to them that whether they feel an aversion or not, they still haven’t realized what they’re actually feeling. Or perhaps they’re simply too afraid the other person would never return their feelings to act. It’s a richly tortuous progression.
But there’s a bonus external obstacle that comes along with it: it’s forbidden. Which means it either cannot be acted upon, or it has to be kept secret. The fact that it’s not allowed by other people – will be prevented by other people – is another hurdle that keeps them apart. And they won’t just be stopped, they’ll also be despised – it’s something to be ashamed of.
So inside they’re saying to themselves, “I can’t do this, it’s wrong,” and they’re saying, “I can’t do this, I’ll be hated” then on the outside there are others saying, “Get away from each other! You’re disgusting!”
5, 6) Incest ships can also be delightful because they’re unconventional. It’s not boy meets girl, boy and girl like each other, boy and girl go on date, boy and girl get married, etc. No, boy and girl have known each other their entire lives. One of them was probably a baby when they met. There was definitely no love at first sight or meet-cute. They don’t grow to love each other over a series of dates, and they won’t be getting married, most likely. It’s fun because it’s different and it’s not straightforward or formulaic. A lot of us hardcore shippers have grown pretty tired of the more conventional love stories, and I think a lot us who have maybe not had a love life that’s going very well enjoy escaping to an entirely different kind of love story, one that doesn’t give us the same feelings of missing out or failure.
7, 8) Next we come to what I have started calling levels of love. Incest is like an onion. (Or a parfait.) There’s the love you feel for someone who is your family, an obligatory, involuntary love, you might say. There’s the love you feel for someone in your family whom you’re close to, a sort of friendship multiplier. An affection. And then there’s the incest. The love for a romantic partner and the love for a sexual partner.
So these levels of love spawn two different shipping appeals: “no matter what” levels of love, and “intensity” levels of love.
Incest is almost unique in that the parties loves each other no matter what: if they’re “together”, if they’re not “together”, if they’ve never been “together” before – it doesn’t matter. There’s a baseline of love. They can hate each other, have a dynamic that constantly places them in opposition, be literal enemies – it doesn’t matter, there’s still a love connection because they’re family. The levels of love are particularly delightful in two situations: 1) when the pairing has a hostile tension and typically does not get along. Your hate sex ship floats down a river of deep love, and 2) when the pairing parts ways. There might be “not together” in incest, but there’s no clean break, no getting over each other, and no escape. Hard on the characters, sure, but grrrrreat for shipping.
And incest is almost unique in that the parties love each other in a billion different ways. This makes for a more intense relationship. Every up and every down has higher stakes. The love is more intense, the anger has farther reaching consequences. It’s love on crack.
9) An interesting appeal of incest is that it’s the ultimate codependency. Codependent characters who are also each others’ family are that much more codependent. No, it’s not always the healthiest situation, but there’s just something about a pairing that only has each other, who are each others’ everything. The taboo nature of incest ostracizes them even further, whether it’s because they’re keeping a secret together, or because they’ve been rejected by others because of the incest. It becomes them against the world.
10, 11) It’s also a matter of undivided loyalties. A character who meets and falls for a stranger is still going to have ties to their family. If they have to choose between their lover and their sibling, it’s going to be an agonizing choice. If they have to leave to go somewhere with their romantic partner, then they have to leave their family behind, and it’s tainted. It becomes a “mostly happily ever after”. But when the lover and the sibling are one, then that’s not the case. No divided loyalties. No pain of leaving home behind. (Unless, of course, there’s a story about the incestuous couple being rejected by their family and running off.)
There’s a sort of tearing apart that happens when a person leaves their childhood family to make a new family with their new spouse, and with incest that doesn’t happen, it’s not the same, not as violent.
Similar in concept is an anti-change attitude that might reflect itself in incest-shipping. The idea that someone again might not have to look elsewhere for their fulfillment in life, might not have to leave behind their happy childhood, might not have to “grow up”, that they can have their cake and eat it too, is appealing. There is also a nostalgia aspect to this, and ideas that home one knew as a child is where one belongs.
12) The concept of Yin and Yang is also a powerful draw. Because the brother and sister share an origin, they are counterparts – complementary versions of each other. There’s both something primal about it and a perception of perfection and equality. What it comes down to is that it feels like they belong together and fit together, like two puzzle pieces.
13) In the same vein is the idea that no one else is good enough for them. This is the pure-blood/first family/aristocrats trope. Whether they’re gods or blood of the dragon or blue bloods or just think they’re something special, there’s definitely some shipping satisfaction in putting together two characters who think no one else is good enough for them but each other. (And it’s a thrilling inversion of the isolation or white-trash-incest tropes in which the incest occurs because there’s no one else to choose from. In this case the other options exist, they’re just considered sub-par.)
14) Siblings are an embodiment of always. Their relationship started at birth and reaches until death. They’ll always be siblings. There was no “before” and there is no “after”, not once they both exist. It’s an unvarying constant. Their relationship can change, their relationships with others can change, but they’re always brother and sister. Family is forever.
15) Family is forever, and it’s also not by chance. We meet people, or we don’t meet people – it’s happenstance. But a brother and sister don’t meet by accident, based on whatever decisions they made or where they happened to be at a particular moment. They were born into this relationship. It’s their place in the universe. They were going to be together no matter what. I see the shipping appeal in that. There’s the idea of belonging together from birth, of destiny having guided them to the same place right from the start.
16) A character’s family sees a different side of that character than everyone else does. They’re most vulnerable with their family because their family knows them best, and first, and in a way that no one else does. They see through the public mask. A brother knows his sister, and she knows him. There’s a deeper and more intimate knowledge than most people ever find with anyone else.
17) Incest is also a universal concept, which means it can apply across eras and cultures. While other types of relationship dynamics or obstacles might be predicated upon a certain societal situation, incest isn’t. Particularly for the AU-minded it’s full of possibilities. And for the non-canon shipper, it’s a useful narrative kink because you can find an incest ship in any genre, in any story well-rounded enough to mention family members.
18) For the non-canon shipper, there’s a nice relief in incest shipping because you’re guaranteed “shippy” moments whether the romantic/sexual element is canon or not. The siblings are going to have sweet moments, significant moments, intense moments, emotional moments, pretty much no matter what. The shipper of incest is going to see their ship be shippy, even if they don’t get to see their ship kiss.
19, 20) Another charm of incest shipping is a delivery on the trope what-they-really-wanted-was-in-front-of-them-all-along. It’s not exclusive to incest by any means but incest is a great conductor for people who enjoy that trope. I think incest-shipping holds an appeal for people who like the idea of someone finding out their true love was already someone familiar and comfortable, someone safe. Or perhaps even more so that they didn’t have to search out love. That finding the person they were meant to be with didn’t mean moving to the big city and spending a decade on disastrous first dates. It was someone who was right in front of them the whole time.
Incest is a great device within a love story in order to stretch out the stage of “I was in love with them all along but I didn’t realize it”. For many people, that’s their favorite trope and stage and the longer it can go on the better. Nothing can make it last longer than incest because of the confusion. The potential of confusion of feelings also has an appeal of its own. Do I love him as my brother or do I love him love him? Etc.
The following two examples are slightly more specific to certain kinds of ships.
21) The first is the unexpected. Experienced viewers are used to tropes and formulas in what they watch, and many people can see a new romantic relationship coming from a mile away. But with incest, you’re not expecting it. It’s often revealed in a manner meant to shock you, and you don’t see it coming because it’s so rare. And I find that surprise incest – given it fits into other parameters – can be delightful enough to give you a certain dedication to that ship. Just like the “unconventional” reason given above, we’re drawn to subversions of tropes and we love seeing things that are new and different.
22) The second reason revolves around a certain kind of character. For me there is an intangible pleasure imagining smug characters, or powerful characters, or gorgeous characters, or brilliant characters in incestuous relationships. There’s just something about someone like that being undone in love in such a way that despite everything they’ve got going for them they’re vulnerable because of a shameful romantic relationship. They fell for the one person they couldn’t have (/weren’t supposed to ever want).
Similarly, when it comes to incestuous relationships, you know that this love is everything to them or else they wouldn’t be taking such risks for it.
23) One of the biggest reasons, and something that I think anti-incest-shippers don’t always realize, is that a lot of these incest ships would have been shipped anyway if incest hadn’t been a factor. The shippers who do ship these ships simply weren’t bothered by the fact that it was incest or managed to overcome their aversion. This is usually the case with the most popular non-canon incest ships. Fans saw that these were two characters were simply perfect for each other, and they weren’t going to be stopped from shipping it just because the characters were siblings.
Lack of choice is a part of that. In shows with small casts, in movies where almost every dies, or other works where there simply aren’t a lot of normal regular human characters around the same age (for example, family sitcoms), then incest ships are going to happen because shippers gonna ship. A shipper is a shipper is a shipper. And they will ship what they’re given. (So basically it would have been shipped anyway, because there was no one else to ship.) This isn’t true of every shipper, but many of us are particular about our ships. We’re not going to like the ship we’re handed on a platter by the writers just because it’s canon. We’ll be drawn to the ship that appeals to us and for many of us, if that’s the incest one, then no big deal.
24) Another big reason is sexualization. It can come from a confusion (by the fan or shipper) or it can be intentional.
If you’re a fan of a familial relationship, and you care about that relationship, but you’re used to romantic shipping, it can be very confusing. And frustrating. Because when you’re used to shipping and how shipping expresses itself in you – writing fanfic, writing commentary, coming up with headcanons, playing out scenarios in your head, yelling dirty comments at the TV – to do that for a platonic relationship can really throw you off. So much so that sometimes the line becomes blurred and all of the sudden you’re treating it and thinking of it like a regular ship.
This process can also be totally intentional. You enjoy a familial relationship but it’s just not as fun for you if it’s not sexual. You’re sure as hell not going to write a gen fic when it could be a love story or smut. So you make it a romantic ship because why not. Some people really do have that kind of control/lack of f–ks to give.
This sexualization can remain mild or it can totally take over. It can certainly go from “oops” to “OTP to end all other OTPs”.
Even if this kind of sexualization that I described is what led to you shipping what you ship, that does not make the ship less legitimate or your shipping less valid.
These last two reasons pertain to the real life experiences of the shipper.
25) There is also the possibility that an interest in incest ships is a reflection of your real life desires. Shipping habits can be (and almost always are) 100% divorced from real life behaviors and tastes. But for some people they’re not. If you had real life incestuous feelings, then the appeal of incestuous shipping makes complete sense. But I’d like to add that I think the inverse is almost more likely: shipping habits become real life desires. You spend so long romanticizing your narrative kink, it’s understandable that it becomes a fantasy for your own life, even though in many cases that’s not a good thing. I still trust that everyone has the common sense to realize what’s going on in their head and know it’s no good even if they can’t control certain thoughts or enjoy the fantasy a bit.
I was hesitant to add this as a reason because it’s something that gets lobbed at incest-shippers by haters, but I think that for some people it’s true and so I think it belongs on the list.
It might also happen that an identification with the forbidden/stigmatized nature of incest leads to incest shipping, even if it’s not a case of specifically incestuous desire.
26) And finally, it’s definitely worth mentioning that for some people who have suffered incestuous abuse, incest shipping can be a coping mechanism. For some people it’s the opposite, they can’t stand to see it. But for some people, it helps. I think there are a lot of different ways in which it helps, but one is that it makes them feel better about the incest aspect of the abuse, makes it less shameful. The stigma of incest makes what they suffered feel even worse so anything they can do to alleviate that feeling helps.
I did not want to illustrate any of the reasons with examples, but I’d love to talk examples in the comments if anyone wants to, and I’d also love to hear if you can come up with any other reasons or have any ideas about elaborating or clarifying some of the reasons I listed.
And thank you to my anon for sparking the discussion and forcing me to think about this in depth.
ETA: I’ve edited this page and added a few more reasons. Those reasons were distributed where they made more sense, not at the end. Because of that, the numbers that people gave in the comments no longer match up with what they were referring to.
New reasons: 6, 19, 20, 26. (19 was separated from what was formerly 17 but is now listed as 11.)
In comments made before January 24, 2018: 6=7, 7=8, 8=9, 9=10, 17=11, 10=12, 11=13, 12=14, 13=15, 14=16, 15=17, 16=18, 18=21, 19=22, 20=23, 21=24, 22=25.
Shipcestuous 
May I add that some people are turned on incest ships because of abuse that happened to them or those close to them. I had a foster sister who was abused by her father and, since I was very young, I got the idea my own father would so the same to me. He never did but it pretty much ruined our relationship. However, out of that fear grew interest and I think that is why I like this kind of ship. I’m not the only one I know of either. I’ve had two writer friends disclose to me that they were abused by male family members. They also can’t get enough of this ship. I think it is a therapeutic way to deal with real life experiences. Just my two cents.
I hadn’t considered that at all but now that you’ve brought it up I do remember hearing several other people say the same thing. The stigma around incest makes the abuse they suffered seem even worse. A normalization of incest, or at the very least lots of exposure, reduces the extra negative feelings caused by that stigma. And then there are probably other psychological processes at work as well, of course.
I’m glad that victims of such abuse have found ways to deal with those terrible experiences.
Thanks for sharing that insight and your personal experience.
3,4,5 and a little bit of1are why I think I like incest ships. Well brother/sister ships that is, to be honest mother/son and father/daughter pairings gross me out since there is a considerable age gap and I feel like a parent is abusing a position of power in that situation. I haven’t actually gotten behind one yet but I’m okay with cousin pairings too since cousins seem to fall somewhere in between childhood friend and family (in my experience) so its not hard to imagine that type of relationship turning into something else.
In my less than valuable opinion the journey of how two people come together is the most interesting part of a ship or romance story. There are no shortage of bad stories on fanfiction where the how and why is glossed over or ignored. It annoys me to no end how many stories have what should be the climax of the story in their first chapter and then there are five boring chapters of just them being together. Again in my opinion 90% of a romance story should be how two people came together. With an incest story the obstacles that have to be overcome are usually pretty big so I feel its even more important in an incest ship. A plus for incest ships is that in the hands of a skilled writer incest pairings are easy to make interesting. Reason number 5 is another big factor for me because I love crazy and out there pairings and there isn’t anything more unconventional than an incest ship.
After I read this I wanted to see if I could add any of my own reasons but I have to say that the reasons you listed had me covered. This post like your normal plot synopsis type posts was really thorough so I had nothing new to add.
I’m glad you found the list thorough. I tried my best.
3 and 5 are two of my biggest reasons as well. I’ve never found the love story particularly appealing if I don’t understand what’s keeping them apart. That’s a big problem with TV shows. And I love out-there ships too.
I’m so glad you agree with me that the journey of them coming to be together is the most interesting part. With some pairings almost all of the fanfiction has them as an already established couple. Sure it gives me a jolt of pleasure imagining them in their happily ever after – it’s fun for headcanon discussions and stuff like that, but in my opinion it doesn’t make for a compelling fic. I guess different people feel differently about it, but watching them fall in love is what I enjoy most.
As mentioned by other responders, you’ve got a pretty awesomely thorough list here.
I don’t think this exactly counts as a separate reason, but something else kind of fun about incest shipping is just how hard it is to write. You’ve got to come up with a reason why these characters are engaging in a relationship that totally disregards societal taboos, and frankly most writers just aren’t able to cut it. At least in my experience, there aren’t any “meh” fics with a brother/sister paring out there. Stories are either really good and stick with you for a long time after, or they’re just painful and impossible to get through.
Hmm…I’ve got the most awful plot bunny based around reason #2 now…
It is so hard to write, isn’t it? It’s like there’s this huge wall in the middle of the road and you’ve somehow got to get them over it. Maybe that’s the reason so many incest fics begin with the relationship already established. I enjoy the challenge, though it does make it nearly impossible sometimes to write a casual drabble or a one shot.
Any plot bunny surrounding #2 is going to be awful, lol. But you must write more Spencer/Carly because I need it.
I’m gay and grew up in the 70s and 80s where there weren’t much gay characters for me to identify with, but I did identify with the tortured brother and uncle loving heroines of V.C. Andrews. The angst and the extreme forbidden loves were something that felt closer to what I was going thru than anything else. Now things are different and there are actual real gay characters out there (but there’s still a shortage of strong interesting gay leads, but that’s another discussion), but I still think incest shipping is fun for the drama, the zing of the taboo. Now I ship brothers as well as brothers and sisters though 🙂 and I’d love to see you cover more brother/brother pairings on your site.
Thanks for sharing how you came to be an incest shipper! I’m always fascinated by the process. I’m going to expand reason #22 to include what you’ve mentioned.
If you’re interested in more brother/brother, be sure to check out familiarattraction, forbiddincest, and incestisnicest on tumblr.
Thanks for your comment!
Hello. I’m a member of an incest shippers fanpage on facebook. We are building up our page (mostly about manga/anime but we may add movies/tv shows later). Would you mind liking or promoting our page? Thank you very much! ^^
https://www.facebook.com/AddictiontoINC?hc_location=timeline
The page is in vietnamese but again, we are still in progress so we may add english trans later. 😀 But if you interested in anything I can help! ^^ I have not watched many movies/tv shows involve incest (only Game of throne) but I do love some non-canon ships (2 Narnia ships, Justin & Alex Russo, Phineas & Candace). Will dig up your blog when i have time xD
Btw, do you ship selfcest?
Hi! I’d be happy to promote your page. I’ll approve your comment on here and then I’ll do a post on my tumblr about it. I think it’s great that you’ve got a page going and I’m sure it’s a great manga/anime resource for Vietnamese readers. I do hope you expand at some point. 🙂
Most canon incest in movies/TV is pretty miserable but a few exceptions – like Jaime and Cersei – are torturous but worth your time.
The non canon ships you listed are among some of my personal favorites. Justin and Alex will always hold a special place in my heart but I’m truly overjoyed to meet another Phineas and Candace shipper. I feel like you have to have a certain openness in order to even consider them shippable, but once you’re there they make total sense.
I do ship selfcest but I’m not huge on it. Opposite-sex selfcest (like in an alternate universe or through some wacky magical spell or whatever) intrigues me a little more though I’ve never explored it too much.
Thanks for your message! I’ll be sure to promo your page on my tumblr.
Thank you! I’m so glad you did not consider my comment as a spam. (i was kinda worry). I’d love to promote your blog too but since the admins have not decided yet about my idea (add up movies/tv shows), I have to wait for it. 🙂
I think Alex x Justin ship is popular, but Phineas x Candace is, like, I don’t know it’s exist (I mean, I thought I was the only one shipper! Or there are only two of us? xD ). I don’t know since when but I was into this ship even before the incest thing. It’s like I always feel it, but do not know what it is. I love the fact that he almost never raise his voice to Candace (only once as Isabella pointed out) and he take care of her all the time. For some reasons I can’t name, I find Candace’s love for her brother is even more obvious despite her words. Their affection toward each other makes me happy. ^_^ About selfcest, I’m exactly like you. I’m mostly interested in opposite-sex selfcest and it’s mostly because I’m a huge fan of opposite-sex twincest (But somehow I am not really into Jaime x Cersei ships. Maybe it’s because they were right there from the beginning so I couldn’t see how they end up together. They did said so and they did showed it by actions but I couldn’t feel it it. I’ve only watched ss1 though, maybe I’ll change my mind after some more ss).
Anyway, I’m so glad to find your blog. 🙂 I’ve been looking for some incest fanpages/blogs/forums for discussion and resources but couldn’t find anything until today. Again thank you sooo much. <333
There are more than two Phineas and Candace shippers, I know of at least half a dozen at least who are somewhat interested in it if not ardent shippers. It’s very interesting to me to know that you shipped it even before getting into incest shipping. Phineas is rather calm with everyone, but he does seem to pay special attention to Candace. It’s the same with Candace, but in reverse. She loves both of her brothers, and she seeks to bust both of them, but Phineas is more special. The most intriguing aspect of all of it really is Candace obsession with busting them, of course. It rules her life.
Yes I understand what you are saying about Jaime and Cersei. Like you I am more interested in the love story – in watching them fall in love. The process. And with Jaime and Cersei they were already together. With them specifically I don’t mind because they have a very exciting and tumultuous relationship, and I ship them very much, but with others I am always disappointed if the relationship is established prior to the beginning of the story.
Thanks for your messages. I wish you the best of luck with your facebook page!
Amazing stuff man.It feels blissful here.Genuine shippers.Other part on the internet you are disgusted and bullied if u are a incest shipper.Glad i invented it here.I have watched Flowers in the attic,Cement garden,Consent,House of Wax,Clueless,Shameless.I am sure there is more films.Can u please give me some names?
Hi! Welcome! Yes, this is our little refuge, and my tumblr as well. I’m so glad you found us.
Yes, those are all great. Have you seen the sequel to Flowers in the Attic – Petals on the Wind? I love Doom, The House of Yes, Hellboy 2, Close My Eyes, well anything in my index, The Hotel New Hampshire, Beautiful Kate, Siblings, Contra El Viento, Geminis, La Coupure. Well, there are so many.
This is a great list. I actually did not start to ship brothers and sisters (and I still ship only a few select pairings — but they’re my favourite) because of tv shows or book. I had a huge depression when I was 13 and I created at that time a ton of oc’s I still have today (I’m 20 y/o) and my central/favorite characters I created was (is) a set of twins that I decided, purely by myself and with no outside influence, to ship together. I don’t even know why to be honest. I used them in several stories and I plan to write a novel about them one day. (Soon!) They have that best friends-lovers-siblings-caretakers dynamic going on. It’s unhealthy but healthy at the same time and I started looking up the ways authors and screenwriters develop incestuous relationship for «education». It was for my craft originally but I went down the slope. For my defence it’s a slippy slope. Anyways.
I’ve read your «about» section (yeah sorry that seems creepy writing it like that but I was curious) and I can tell we’re really alike. Your family and mine’s seem the same. It made me laugh for a reason. We’re kind of a lil bit too regular to be so invested in this kink haha.
I like the brother/sister incest trope/narrative kink because of 3,4, 5 and 12, mainly. These really really resonate with me. Thanks for putting it so eloquently into words. Such drama! Number 5 particularly is really important in my shipping habits. I have not seen this cited by anybody on this blog yet, but I think for me, a big part of my liking for incest in fiction is that it does not conclude into a normal life/family/love story/relationship. (At least in my head canons!) Like.
I think I speak for all girls when I say I had more than my share of shitty relationships (shitty is an euphemism here) and also, as a radical feminist, I’m super tired of going out with guy who … would «not respect me» be what I mean? I don’t know. It’s just. Your family (at least when you get along with them) respects you and treats you much more as an equal than a random dude you just met. I’m totally over the mainstream relationships I see around me : divorce-couple-counselling-problems-so much problems-etc. BUT here I know I am romanticizing incest VERY much. I know this is not how it goes in real life, for having witnessing it. God knows it’s the opposite most, if not all of the time. Thats why I like it only in fiction. It’s not real and it’s a way to dream. It’s twisted but right at the same time. (Wow. I sound creepy for the second time in this post. Great.)
By the way. I really enjoy reading you! Your writing is great and I’m using it right now as a way of procrastinating on my readings for university. (Heh) Thanks for your dedication. I know I’m late but I will definitely be sticking around !
(Sorry for any error here, I talk French… + what a long comment. Jesus.)
Hi!!!! Welcome! Your English and lovely, and I am always THRILLED to have long comments – the longer the better – and you never sounded creepy at all.
That’s very fascinating the way you created those OC twins and then ended up shipping them together. (And then began to ship others. Yes, it’s a VERY slippery slope.) I do hope you write your novel. Best of luck with that. I do a lot of original writing myself so I know how much fun and freeing it can be, but at the same time what a challenge it is to stay motivated and especially to get it done. It sounds like you were on the right track if you were researching other authors and their methods.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and the reasons that applied most to you. I’m always curious to hear about the experiences of others. I do consider myself a bit to regular/normal to have such a kink. I don’t know where it came from.
The safeness of family – and the respect from family – is definitely something that draws me towards it. But it’s like you said – that’s more an aspect of fictional incest shipping than the situations you tend to find with incest in real life.
Thank you so much for your comment! I’m very grateful to know that you found this post interesting, I’m so glad that you enjoy my writing!!
I think I fall under some type of subcategory for the last one. My biological father was permiscuous. I consider myself an only child, but when you grow up knowing that there are at least 13 other kids out there that are technically your half-siblings and that’s just the ones your mother knows about, it can get you thinking. Especially when you tie in that he traveled a lot of work, was a poster child for epic one night stands where you separate without ever learning your partner’s name, didn’t like condoms, and his entire family was known for being rather fertile (my mother and him were friends, it’s how she knew so much..and how she knew about the other kids, but alcohol and bad break ups lead to bad decisions), I grew up with the knowledge that it’s perfectly possible for me to date a half-siblings and neither of us ever know it. (One of my 13 half-sibs, none of whom I’ve met, was raised to believe his step-father is his father, so I can’t even completely count out guys who know their fathers). I can’t say I completely fall under the last reason, it’s not like I want to date a sibling, but the idea of it doesn’t bother me. If I one day find out I’m dating (or am even married to) my half-brother..well, it’s not deal breaker. And perhaps my interest was my mind’s way of coping with the knowledge that it could happen…or maybe not. Who knows?
Incest isn’t a deal sealer for a ship either, I ship more non-related couples than related, but the first time I saw an incest ship I jumped on board and have been finding it fascinating ever since.. The forbidden aspect is a big part, I’ve always had a soft spot for the forbidden romances, no matter how it plays outs.
The forbidden aspect is a big one for me too. I just like their internal struggle with the idea that these feelings shouldn’t be happening. I think for me a lot of my shipping comes down to how much I enjoy “failure to resist”, so I’m always into ships that, for whatever reason (and there’s no bigger reason than incest), are trying to resist their feelings, and epically fail.
Thank you for sharing your personal experience. That’s a very fascinating theory you have that your interest in incest ships could be related to knowing that you have so many half-siblings out there that you don’t know and it could happen. It makes sense. It’s almost the last reason in reverse.
Shipping habits, feelings towards incest, etc. – the psychology of it is so fascinating but so unknown.
This was a very nice article on shipping and it got me thinking: until recently the thought of incest shipping disgusted me severely. For a long time I was only able to ship couples if the relationship was “pure” and not taboo in the slightest (long story) and for one of my favorite series (a video game) there existed characters that are artificial human psychics made by a computer who saw herself as a god. Where the incest gets involved is my main OTP for this series are two characters which can be seen as brother/sister because they are both of the same race made by the mother computer. All of her children are pseudo-family but I would push away any incest sub-text in my mind because it disgusted me. I have no siblings and grew up an only child but it still disgusted me. But now, I am a little more honest about it and fictional kinks in general. One half of my OTP (the sister) is essentially a clone of the brother but they are not true twins and it’s hard to explain her relationship with him without giving away the plot. The brother isn’t aware of his sister’s origins until the very end of the game and at that point, it’s hard to say if they were siblings at all.
But the allure of two “fake” imitations of human beings created by a digital god and then having to somehow live a painful life without guidance of their god (eventually the computer mother is removed from the plot) had overtaken me for a very long time. Only recently did I try to view them closer to the source material as sci-fi siblings. The brother lived a life of loneliness due to suffering extreme abuse from his mother so he only really has his “family” of a sister along with two brothers left. Both characters are not human yet act extremely human and they have no real training to deal with feelings such as affection, altruism, and lust. I feel 1, 3/4, 10, and 11 resonate the most with my feelings for my sibling ship, especially the yin yang and royal blood part. They are the creations of an all powerful god but said god did a poor job of preparing them for a life outside servitude. They are weapons and tools to be used by their mother. They are not supposed to be happy, have freedom, or feel any good emotions like love in the slightest. The immediate robbery of freedom by the “parent” is one of the reasons it makes the ship so good because they are going into the relationship blind, siblings be damned. Also, it is honestly easier to imagine an incest ship if the brother/sister are not true humans so they do not need to have the same feelings and views on incest like we do.
I don’t know, even know I feel uneasy about incest shipping but it helps that I am incest shipping a ship I well, shipped for almost all my teen years into adulthood. There is a feeling of nostalgia when I think of them together and I knew these fictional characters for so long. I shipped them as non-siblings before but stuff happened that my OTP’s flame started to die out so I had to re-invent it. But I do hope that anyone that decides to focus on a ship of two characters who happened to be related make sure it brings you enjoyment first and foremost. That is the point of stories, to be entertained.
That sounds like a very interesting and complicated OTP! Sci-Fi provides so many unique and fascinating twists on relationships – especially familial relationships. With an extraordinary situation like that, I suppose you can really view them however you want to. I really love having that kind of flexibility.
Thank you so much for this message!
I just read a few articles by people frustrated with hook-up culture, which these days is of course pretty prevalent. Depending on individual circumstances, it can be hard to find someone who’s willing and able to form a serious relationship.
Maybe that’s one reason incest ships appeal to us. Our relatives are already in a relationship with us that isn’t going to go away. The blood relationship, and probably having known each other since the younger one was born, means there’s already caring and affection there.
It’s a fantasy of ultimate security in affection.
Wow I’ve never see someone that has been serious about this question and come up with a such awesome, deep and detailed list before. Although I don’t think I ship incest for any of these reasons, in fact i don’t even know why i ship BSI… I dunno how i think about the real life BSI since i don’t think i have seen any but i definitely ship BSI in movies, books, and basically in any other works. There are obstacles between brother and sister incest loves without a doubt, but it’s also hard to ship BSI… Like when I finish a movie and ending up liking siblings as a couple, almost no one would agree with me. People freak out the moment i bring up the word “incest” and they start to say “eww that’s gross” or “what’s your problem this is so wrong” “that’s so weird” something like that. So that’s why I never talk to my friends about BSI since i don’t want them to think(or know) that i’m some kind of psychopath… but no matter now, cuz i found your site and i totally enjoy it! 🙂
Yeah, a big reason why I created this site was because I know a lot of incest shippers can’t talk to their regular fandom friends about their incest ships. I wanted there to be a place where we didn’t have to worry about being judged, especially those of us who have multiple incest ships and not just one or two. I think why we ship what we ship is a really interesting question, but there’s not always an answer. But if you do figure out any reasons why you’re drawn to incest ships, I would love to hear them!
sure! i’d love to share too when i figure it out, thank you so much for creating this site!! makes me feel like i finally have found my home >O<
I think I’ve figured out why!! I was wrong when i said that I don’t think I ship incest for the reasons on your list, I do actually! And a lot! First it’s exciting. I am cynical, in some ways. Although I love love, but I believe that when two people fall in love with each other, their “love” have a “shelf life”, it depends on everyone for how long would that last. But siblings are different, they will always love each other, especially when their love for each other have something more than a sibling love involved. And they can’t leave each other, like how normal lovers do when they no longer love each other, or just leave each other for some reason. Siblings can never leave each other, because they are families, they have blood relations. More than that, they are the closet person to each other, they grew up together, what makes it better if they are lovers? They get even more closer than how they already were.
I just downloaded Guillermo Del Toro’s Crimson Peak, but I didn’t watch all of it. I only watched Thomas and Lucille’s parts. And I figured out another reason why I love brother sister incest: I love the characters who belongs to the style of sorrow, and a lot of the characters who have incestuous feelings belong to that style. (But this one might be just for me, I’m not sure if other people would love BSI because of the reason too. ) I think to most of the people incest is a really abnormal thing, it’s distorted. And the characters who possessed this kind of feelings are usually kind of distorted in some place too, maybe personality or something. A distorted character must have been through something that had hurt them so much, they must have been seriously injured, physically or mentally(I say mentally more, but it can also because they were born with those feelings, or their culture, like Nuada. He might be hurt in so many ways but even before all these injuries he loved Nuala already). And to me the pathos a character carry is what makes them most attractive. These kind of characters who had been harmed so much, they often hated everyone, and everything, but the meanwhile they still carry love. However their love once again is abnormal and even insane to most of the people: the possessiveness that they own is so intense and it even becomes dreadful. They don’t even stint to hurt the person they love when it comes to some kind of situation. Like how Nuada sliced Nuala’s face out of jealousy and how Lucille killed Thomas when she found that that he loved Edith. Maybe, maybe they would also carry the thought of: “If I cannot have you, I’ll destroy you.” But it really means their own death also, because the person they love is their everything. The reason why they would be so possessive because their horrible experiences made them hate the whole world, so they cannot fall in love with anyone but their own sibling, (you cannot not love your siblings, right? We’re born to love our families, not to mention the siblings which can be closer to your than your parents.) as a result the person(sibling) they love own all of their love affections: love as lovers, love as families, love as friends, etc.
So their love is so strong even becomes insane.
Everything you said here is exactly the kind of things I was trying to write about/articulate when I put together this list. It can be very hard to describe why these kinds of relationships are fascinating to us or make for good shipping but I think you did a really good job. You make a really good point about the “shelf life” of love, but with siblings they will always love each other.
And yeah, Nuada is in many ways a “distorted” character. He has a lot of pain, but a lot of love too. And it’s the same with Lucille. They love so much they end up hurting themselves and hurting the person they love more than anything.
Yessss!!!
and brother/sister incest is the best because their ages are closer, other incests are not as good
typos!!!!! And grammar!!!!!0o0, sorry i did this so fast and i didn’t have time to check it until now…
I was wondering about a question these days: why (or why not) would people/characters fall in love with their siblings in a romantic way?
A lot of people assume that sibling incest is very wrong, and I would assume that a lot of people do not have incestuous relationships towards their siblings. The reason why brother sister incest was forbidden was only because their generations might have some kind of genetic disease, but if this is it, then it doesn’t mean people were born without the ability to love their siblings in a romantic way, so why wouldn’t most of the people fall in love with their siblings? Since they might be the closest member of the opposite sex to them. Furthermore, in my opinion that someone’s love/feelings cannot be easily dispelled just by the way they were taught and the way they were nurtured. Or maybe it is, I’m not sure. So here comes another question: Since a lot of people do not fall in love with their siblings in a romantic way, then why would some people/characters fall in love with their siblings?
I did some research and I heard a really interesting idea: the nature and the quality of love (sibling love and romantic love) is the same, but they were sorted differently only because of the ethics. And if person A falls in love with person B, and one day A found out that B is actually A’s sibling, A would still love B in a romantic way. Instead, if A knew that B was A’s sibling the whole time, since A was small, then A might not fall in love with B in such a way.
Although I kind of get it, but I’m still kind of confused. Sorry if I made you confused too…
I’m so glad you’re engaging with this discussion and sharing your thoughts! Thank you for the comment!
These are important questions, and I’m not sure I can necessarily answer them. But it seems to me that societal rules/social stigma against incest *because* of genetic problems with offspring isn’t the only reason that incest is uncommon. There’s also this thing called the Westermarck Effect, which is basically that you don’t develop romantic/sexual feelings towards someone that you grew up around. And I think it’s a pretty well-accepted phenomenon. So this is a little more ingrained than simply the way people were raised/nurtured to feel, it’s something that develops inside of them and isn’t taught.
But the Westermarck Effect’s accidental twin is that genertically-related people who *didn’t* grow up together tend to feel an attraction to each other when they meet for the first time as adults. That’s called GSA – Genetic Sexual Attraction – and it’s another observable phenomenon. So much weird stuff going on!
Personally, I don’t think that sibling or family love is at all the same as romantic love, and I don’t think it’s just “ethics” or anything like that that makes them different. But it’s a really fascinating theory that should certainly be questioned more.
I wouldn’t limit the phenomenon to opposite sex, as this clip from a talk show where two boyfriends discover they are half brothers.
Yeah, I don’t think it’s limited. Thanks for sharing that link!
The video is just so sad! The one guy definitely seems way more upset than the other one. I wonder if this was really the end of their relationship. The guy on the left I think would keep it going if he could but I may just be making up my own story.
Yea, I think I understand now. Thanks a lot!!!
I love incest shipping because of the forbidden factor. It is super exciting for me and is something that always stays interesting because of all the problems that it presents in the relationship. Reasons 2, 5, 8, 9, and 22 are my main reason for this incest shipping. Reason 2 is one of the best on your list and I have something to add to it in the next paragraph. The danger and the fear of judgement is exciting. It is also the ultimate love. Not only is there a bond in a romantic way, but there is also attachment by blood; something that no other kind of romance can offer. I see the beauty in diversity, but there is also something about pure blood relationships that is elegant. I’m not sure if I’m coming across clearly. It is fascinating psychologically and socially. I personally believe that despite peoples’ opinions and criticisms, there are many that share these thoughts but are too ashamed to admit them and have been trained to hate it. I would never say these things outside of this kind of community of people, but even that is hard. I know you talked about genetic risks briefly and is one of my strongest reasons for why it isn’t as bad as people believe. A lot of the stigma comes from being uneducated. Here is my spule on that subject below 🙂
Genetic problems are only a real risk after multiple generations of incest relationships (which Is mitigated by the fact that very few people aren’t bothered by it; meaning the chances of kids marrying each other just like their parents and the next generation doing the same is very rare and would only cause genetic issues at that point). For some reason there isn’t an yuck factor for me. Incest shipping is for me in a lot of ways an outlet for personal feelings (reason 22). Since most people don’t have the same views, I usually keep it private. In my mind, your family can be the most trusting individuals and it makes sense that you would love them in a romantic way. And who says you have to have biological kids? Adoption is an option. Also, you can prevent having kids if you need a physical relationship. If two adults want to be together, what is the big deal? Incest and abuse/rape aren’t the same thing at all. I wish society was just a bit more open minded.
I tried looking at your tumblr and it seemed like there was a problem with it? Where do you update the most frequently? I love your content and you open mindedness.
Hello!
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. I love hearing what it is about incest shipping that appeals to other people. I appreciate what you wrote up about the children/inbreeding factor. I agree that ignorance plays a big part in why this continues to put so many people off. And I think if people didn’t feel like they would be judged, a lot more would admit to being interested in incest ships, or having more relaxed views about real life incest.
I forgot to add that I’m not sure why the tumblr link isn’t working, probably because it was from before I changed my username. My tumblr is
http://shipcestuous.tumblr.com
Thanks!!
Wow it’s been a long time since this post was originally written, jeez. That’s not going to stop me from forcefully inserting my copperish thoughts into the metaphorical piggybank, however. The main incest ship I have is Hansel and Gretel (the one movie with Jeremy Renner) because I can’t think of any others right this second. But I don’t think my reason is for the ‘taboo’ (except in regards to writing because I do like when the road to a happy ending is tough and, not gonna lie, it made for some pretty good fanfics). In regards to that ship specifically
(SPOILERS BRUH LOOK AWAY IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN IT)
the thing is that there was never really anyone else for either of them. Sure, there was Mina but it’s just.. No one else went through their experiences and trauma and because of that, no one could hope to fully understand one of them except for the other sibling. They’ve got mad co-dependency and maybe that’s not healthy, but neither are their coping methods, and it is appealing for some reason. Plus there’s the yin and yang thing going on, Hansel’s dumb and Gretel’s smart, and the femininity vs. masculinity is a nice touch (even though I’m bi). Honestly, at this point it’s practically canon – no matter what the creator says – considering all of the fans who ship it. Anything is true if you read enough into it, after all.
(SPOILERS OVER)
I don’t know why, but incest never really bothered me. What’s the big deal, especially after you take out the ‘kids will be diseased’ arguments? Not a lot, in my (non-professional unqualified) opinion.
I never shipped Justin and Alex, though the subtext was very much there. I liked Juliet too much (man, that hurt when she left) and I shipped Alex and Stevie. I’m a (mostly) loyal shipper.
I do however ship: Peter and Susan (don’t ask why), Bellatrix and Narcissa, Shisui and Itachi, Pietro and Wanda, Minato and Naruto (only in time travel fics.. you know what never mind). There’s probably more but I can’t think of any.
I’m so glad you still shared your thoughts even though this post is a few years old. It’s still relevant and still gets viewed (including the comments). Thank you for commenting!
I love Hansel and Gretel from Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters. I think you said it perfectly when you said that there really was no one else for them, and that could apply to their entire lives. No one is going to be able to be their significant other the way they are that for each other. There’s a lot about them that’s very appealing.
Wanda and Pietro are a canon couple in the Ultimates comics – series one through three.
Just in case you didn’t know.
I dont see a reason here that explains why incest interests me. I haven’t had any incestuous relationships (obviously) but the thought lingers. Out of all other fantasies, incest is the only one that interests me to a degree. For example, i only enjoy watching or reading of brother/sister, step/half brother/sister. Mother/son, father/daughter turn me off in a way due to the fact that there is an age gap and the fact that the parent has to at least have a sense of responsibility and duty to not sleep with their child (if it is consensual) . But with siblings particularly within the same age group interests me for some reason. I remember when i was entering high school, i thought my older popular brother was “hot”, but not in a sexual way, just in a “oh my brother is good-looking, good on him”. But i have had sexual fantasies about my cousins who are also really hot. The thing is im not close with any of my guy cousins, but my siblings are and i guess due to my distance with them, i was attracted to them at one stage of my life (the attraction is long gone now, i think theyre ugly now). Also i make up incest fantasies of me and a long lost half-brother (imaginary, i dont have a half brother) but i wish i did, not to engage in incest with him but its just weird and i cant help it. Ive tried to just watch normal relationships in movies and tv shows but they just dont do it for me anymore.
If you ever do figure out why it interests you, let me know! I would love to add it to the list.
Thanks for sharing your experience!
Really late to the train here, but thank you so much for writing this! The formatting of it’s really good to help people understand, and tye inclusion of reasons 22-24 really spoke to me, like, FINALLY someone put it into words. I’ll be sending this to people in the future!
I’m so glad! Thank you!
or because they watch game of thrones, which is full of incest
my opinion is their HeAdCaNnOn
I mostly ship & write mom/daughter and sister/sister incest, along with some M/M incest. Most of the reasons you listed is why I ship & write incest ships & fanfics.
Thanks for sharing that! I find the topic so fascinating.
When I saw how long ago the original post was I was hesitant to post a comment but after seeing you reply to one as recent as February I changed my mind. Mad props btw for still giving attention to such an old post after all these years!
So, I wanted add a reason some people might ship consensual, sibling, incest that is not included in your list, drawing from my own experience.
So, up front disclosure here, I’m going to be talking about me and my sisters past relationship, although I want to stress that we were never in an incestuous or even platonic romantic relationship.
Me and my sister grew up in a toxic, broken family. Our mother and farther were always at each others throats. My earliest childhood memories is them having their screaming matches at each other downstairs, the occasional crash when our farther smashed something in his rage (although he never raised a hand to our mother) while me and my sister comforted each other upstairs, desperate to block out the sounds below. Looking back it’s obvious this pushed up together to be pretty close and even when our farther left when I was eight, her seven, we were left with a lot of mental scars we needed to work though.
The deepest, long lasting impact these experiences had on us is an ingrained inclination towards conflict deescalation. We pretty much never get angry and rise our voices as we saw first hand how it never resolved anything, the underlying issues never addressed. Our parents would just scream at each other until they were worn out and after a few days would start up all over again.
In the years following my farther leaving me and my sister fell into this strange routine that none the less felt perfectly nature for us. After my sister finished her bath she would sometimes come to my room and while tightly wrapped in a towel, have me hold her, stroking her back over it while we confided in each other about our troubles and what was on our minds.
There was nothing remotely sexual or romantic about it, just two young siblings emotionally supporting each other. That is…until the onset of puberty. There was not gradual development of awareness of each others bodies, no questioning this intimacy as we were getting older, it happened all at once, in a single moment.
We had both stopped taking for a while, each one so utterly comfortable in the embrace, we hadn’t separated when we were done talking like we normally did, we didn’t want to. Unconscionably my strokes to her back became a little firmer, massaging the skin beneath the towel and then I felt her stiffen a shudder ever so slightly. We both froze, buckets of ice water poured over us.
I went though the kaleidoscope of emotions in seconds. We pulled apart, her face was red and flushed, I’m certain mine was too. We stared at each other, our faces so close. I can’t tell you what she thought of course but as for my thoughts, a part of me felt that kissing her would be the right thing to do. That it was the, as weird as it sounds, nature way to continue our relationship even though I was honestly not feeling any sexual desire towards her. It was like, this ‘should’ happen form a purely emotional level.
But I had my internalized shame against incest that held me back, made me doubt myself, make me hesitate and question if what I felt was the right thing to do. Maybe she was feeling the same thing, I honestly don’t know. There was no disgust or fear on her face, only a kind of questioning confusion. As the pause dragged on, neither of us taking the initiative she eventually withdraw, unable to make eye contact she mumbled, “I’d better go” and hurried back to her room.
And that was it, that was the day our close relationship as siblings died. She never came into my room like that again, a wall had come up between us nether one of us knew how to overcome or even talk about. Immediately we started to rapidly drift apart, she threw herself into her friends while I retreated to books and video games. We’re now pretty much strangers who talk on the phone maybe twice a year and see each other at Christmas and even then not every year.
It’s funny how often people raise the issue of how engaging in incest destroys close sibling relationships when for me and my sister it was the opposite. Who’s to say what would have happened if we’d kissed? It might not have even go any further with us instead simply continuing to be close siblings that kissed rather than becoming a couple. Or even if we became a couple, could we have made it work against all obstacles? My internalized moral opposition to incest that society imposed on me and my sister robbed us of that chance and I lost the person I was closest to.
As the years rolled by we both had a string of failed relationships, again I can’t vouch for my sister, but I know on some subconscious level I compared every girlfriend to her and found them lacking.
A few years ago my sister turned that all around and ended up with a guy she’s now engaged to and expecting her first child with…and he’s exactly like me. Our personality, mannerisms, interests, the way we talk, emotional temperament. Take away the looks and he feels like a complete clone of me in everything else.
Look I’m not projecting her when I say that, everyone in the family who’s met him says the same thing with some saying it freaks hem out a little and even she admits it in this joking kind of way. I remember a few years ago not long after they got together at a family event and how she made light of it saying, “I’m dating my brother” and how she and everyone laughed but unlike everyone else I could detect, hidden in her comedic delivery and the way she laughed something else, a hidden shame she was feeling about the implications.
So why do I ship incest? Because I morn the ghost of a potential relationship that never happened and over the years, with each failed relationship I have embellished it in my mind into something that I’m sure is far more perfect than it would have been. When I read fictional siblings find that true joy from coming together in an incestuous relationships I am able to lose myself in the fantasy that me and my sister might have been that happy together and still close. Even though now at least I am certain she is happy in her relationship with my clone and that is the most important thing to me, her happiness, not mine.
Lastly in addition to enjoying shipping sibling incest for the reasons above, I also an an active promoter of it. My hope is that, as people have their preconceptions challenged by reading a consensual sibling incest fic, their mind is more open to contemplating the possibilities that such relationships in the real world are not evil or wrong.
I recognize this stance probably puts me in a minority of incest shippers, who just see it as escapist fantasy and is disconnected from their views on its real world application. I just don’t want other close siblings to go though what I went through. To lose the person they are closest to, have that hole in their heart, because their relationship had, for whatever reason, reached a point where the lines between siblings and lovers began to blur and they recoiled from each other, destroying that bond, rather than trying to work though it together which I’m sure we would have if society had not poisoned our minds to see it as something so inherently wrong.
Ending on a lighter note, have you checked out the manga Saraba, Yoki Hi yet? It’s ongoing at the moment and criminally overlooked in my opinion with what I consider the most grounded, realistic and non-fetishistic look at sibling incest. While I won’t go into spoilers regarding specifics but the main theme it explores is number 9 on your list, that of co-dependency and explores it very well.
That fact that this mature manga exploring the depths of the siblings emotional co-dependence gets but a tiny fraction of the views compared to trash step-siblings so-called ‘comady’ sexual romances depresses me, so if you like it after checking it out, please promote it so it gets some love! Would also honestly be curious to hear your thoughts as you are clearly someone who has put a great deal of thought into the subject. Just we warned I think the pacing a little rushed towards the start, with you being introduced to too many characters too quickly so I felt a little lost, but it soon calms down.
Thank you so much for being willing to share all of this. It’s so important for us to hear new perspectives, especially from people who have been affected deeply by the subject. I love the question of why incest shipping interests us and being able to add another reason, especially one based on experience, is so great for the discussion. I am so sorry for what happened between you and your sister. My brother and I were never close like that, and even I mourn what my relationship with him has become – just seeing him a couple of times a year. I think the loss of what your relationship with your sister might have been is really tragic. I’ve never heard an account quite like yours, so again, I want to thank you for being so honest and so willing to share. You make such a good point about how the social stigma can actually ruin platonic relationships too. In fact, it sort of connects with something I’ve always felt which is that we want to be really cautious about making incest jokes (or even serious speculation) about adult siblings who are close or perform together because I would hate to make them uncomfortable with each other when they have something so beautiful, incestuous or not.
I wish both you and your sister the best in your lives, and I am so sorry that you are left with so many questions and ‘what ifs’.
And thank you for your recommendation for Saraba Yoki Hi! I have not read it yet but it’s on my list. We can use all the good content we can get!
In many ways, I resonate with the abuse part of it.
I’ve always shipped some incest pairings and liked them just as much my non incest pairings. When I was a kid I didn’t find it gross or even bad (even though somewhere in my head I could hear people saying it wasn’t right) but I shipped incest anyway because I just didn’t get what was so taboo. If they fell in love, what was so bad about it?
But that’s only with sibling/cousin incest for me. Any other type with like a parental figure (parent or uncle/aunt) makes me feel sick and thats definitely because of trauma.
While I wasn’t abused sexually, I experienced emotional incest with my mom. Many times over I had to be an adult when I was a kid and not only that, I had to support my mom emotionally. In many ways, I took the role of my father and even was told I was exactly like my dad and was better than him.
I don’t like to bash people for shipping things I don’t agree with mostly because a lot of people don’t agree with what I ship. I just can’t help but view parent type incest as abusive because of what I went through and because no matter what my mom will always be my parent. What made me get into incest was because most of the time she wasn’t just my parent. I was forced to be more emotionally.
For a while, I even started seeing my own mom sexually at times which really messed me up which I think was just my trauma brain trying to make sense of everything while puberty hit because I’m lesbian. Especially since a lot of those boundaries were crossed emotionally and sometimes physically (whether it was commenting about my body in a sexual manner or touching me in a light hearted way that made me uncomfortable).
So really coming across this post made me feel less ashamed of what I went though especially since people’s automatic response is that’s disgusting and in some distant way it almost feels like they’re calling me disgusting. Which it was for me because of how abusive it was. But I don’t think people realize how some people cope with things they were exposed to.
I often just felt ashamed of reading incest because what attracted me to it was definitely the emotional bonds I could see in my own relationship with my mother. Which is weird because I didn’t and never wanted that kind of relationship with my mother. Just thinking about it makes me want to vomit but a part of me also can’t deny that I wanted something better than what I had and I guess reading fics with incest can be somehow cathartic. I do think incest can cross the line at times, but at that point, I just leave the fic and never come back.
Reading incest fics for me is literally trauma art. But because its so controversial, often enough I would just feel guilty for it.
First of all, thank you for sharing that, because it’s very deeply personal and I’m sure it took you a lot of time and difficulty to understand all of it. Your perspective is really valuable, particularly since that’s not one of the reasons that I discussed very much or know very much about. It’s really important to me that no one feel guilty about reading incest fics or incest works, whatever their reason for being interested.
Thanks, it means a lot. It really took a lot of self discovery and effort to stop feeling so ashamed of myself. Haha meanwhile I think I’ll just dive in and go write that rin/yukio fic that I’ve been sitting on for a decade
It’s nice to see this having been up so long with people still finding and talking about it. I read this for fun but it really shows all the points and reasons I have for enjoying incestuous ships.
I’ve liked them for as long as I could remember and even if I’m not aware two characters at are related at first I still tend to drift towards such ships.
I’m bad with words most of the time so this is actually really handy in explaining to my friends that don’t really understand it. Accepting friends, cuz quite honestly I’m shocked this is still looked on as harshly as it is with how popular the trope is.
But thanks for taking the time for this!
Thank you for your comment! I update and edit this list occasionally because I’m always trying to find the best way to categorize and explain why we like these kinds of ships. I really did want it to be a useful tool so I’m glad you think it will be for you.
Yes, it’s kind of shocking that even among other fans who are into shipping this kind of interest is looked down on as much as it is.
Hello! I feel so happy to see a blog discussing incest! And equally glad that you still keep replying to 2014 posts!
I wanted to talk about my own feelings about incest, which I haven’t even talked about with my counsellor. Every time she asks me about heterosexual romance, I say, “because I’m too busy studying at the moment”.But maybe that’s not it, maybe it’s because I only like my cousin.
My cousin and I have been playing together since I was about 5 years old, and I used to sleep with him at his house on weekends (he was 8 years old at the time). Sometimes I would roll on the floor and hit him while I was sleeping, and my mum would joke that “a little girl had fallen from the sky”. Interestingly, I know that this phrase is from an ancient Chinese novel in which the hero and his Lin cousin fall in love. I was particularly shy at the time, and I knew that Sister Lin was a love story heroine, but I think it was just a joke from my mother. But when I was a child, I always liked my cousin, he was very nice to me, and I had no other playmates at that time. He took me to play computer games, to the movies, and when the adults asked me if I wanted to marry him, I said “yes” without hesitation.
I was much less obsessed with him when I was in primary school (although I was still into Japanese anime siblings at the time). Still, I was bullied by the boys in my class in primary school, and from then on, I was less open to developing relationships or dating boys.
One day when I was in junior high school, my cousin, who was three years older than me, came to visit me at my school. At that time, I was a normal, busy secondary school girl, and my only daily entertainment was buying a lollipop or something from the shop run by the school (yes, my secondary school did not allow students to go out of school for lunch). When I was just finishing my lunch at school, I saw my cousin come over and call my name, he talked to me about school and then he brought me a chocolate cake. At first, I thought he was a bit late and that I didn’t need a cake – I’d finished my lunch! But then my mum told me that my cousin had been looking for me all day and he wanted to take me out for lunch, and he specifically asked my mother what I like to eat and brought chocolate cake. At that time, I was very moved by his considerable behaviours; never did any boys do this to me.
He already had a girlfriend at that time, which I didn’t know until a year later. But I liked him up until college. I liked him, and so by association, I wanted incest couples in anime even more. Every time I saw a sister in an anime pampering her brother, I wished her brother would respond gently to her
After I went to college, I kept talking to a guy, and I had a crush on him but didn’t date or take it further. When I started to analyse my own romantic life, I realised that this guy felt like a brother to me, he had the same personality as my cousin, and he was as thin as my cousin. I suddenly realised that whenever a gentle and handsome guy appeared in front of me, my first thought was that I wanted him to be my brother.
I hadn’t talked to my brother in a long time, and I didn’t feel the need to stay too close to him; he didn’t like me, of course; I didn’t want (not really) to have sex with him, I didn’t know the real him, he was always a brother who satisfied my needs when he was with me, he didn’t ever show vulnerability in front of me, I didn’t really know him. Being a sister, enjoying being a sister when we were together, was fine, and I couldn’t imagine us actually being an incestuous couple.
The reason I decided to write this is that today when I was out shopping with my friend, I saw a very tall and thin guy and for a moment it was like I saw my cousin who is now studying in Germany, and I felt a sense of dependency and reassurance. As the guy lifted his head, that warm feeling disappeared again. Maybe I still love him(love is too heavy, perhaps), I still love the brother in my memory. In real life, I am a female who is too shy to take a step forward. Still, in my inner fantasy, I always wanted that gentle (more gentle than the real world) brother to come close to me, hold me, or do more; I was afraid to go forward, knowing full well that he, in reality, would reject me. Still, I imagined that we could be together all the time in some world, maybe without sex, but we would be together. He was a figure who would love me no matter what I did because he was an older brother, and he wouldn’t interfere with me like my parents did, and we might have some kind of chase-and-run romantic theatre, but at the end of the day, we would be together.
As I type these words, I feel so much better saying them. I’m a weird one when it comes to romantic relationships with men, and I think it might have something to do with my obsession with my brother. As I started typing (I used the DEEP L translation) and thinking back on my time with my cousin, I realised that he wasn’t so nice to me, but I still felt sweet and warm. Perhaps the reason I like incest couples is that they are a more intense and ideal version of me and my cousin, and as I watched them in real life, I relived the warmth and sweetness that my cousin brought to my heart.
THANKS SO MUCH FOR YOU TO ESTABLISH THIS BLOG! I FINALLY CAN WRITE MY WIRED
(BUT SWEET HERATBROKEN) ONE-LOVE STORY!
I’m so glad that you found my blog and that you felt comfortable sharing your story. It was very interesting for me to read. It sounds like you’ve had a lot of experience with guys not treating you very well – I’m sorry for that. I hope you will meet someone like your cousin, or who makes you feel the way your cousin did. Someone gentle. The memories you shared of him were so sweet. I know nothing about what his feelings are, but if you love him and can’t move on for him, then I hope there’s some possibility of him returning those feelings someday.
I’m sorry that there’s nowhere in your country where cousins can marry. Laws against cousin marriage are based on ignorance and they should all be eliminated.
Thank you for commenting!